Do you love your partner, but you’ve stopped salivating over them? Or maybe you’ve obsessed about someone who you’d like to have as a partner.

This video from Helen Fisher talks about the love-related states of our brain.

The most amazing section is that she distinguishes three types of love (in the brain’s activity).

One is romantic love. She defines it as more than merely an emotion, but also as a powerful “drive”, which pushes you into certain behaviors.

There’s also the sex drive, which is distinct, and helps you discover a partner.

And last is attachment, which is what you feel for a long-term partner.

You may, or may not, feel all of these towards the same person, which explains why the feelings of love might change over time.

My question: does our love shift because of changes in the brain? Or do changes in the brain just reflect the shifts we’re making in our lives?

I’ve found that, when I’m holding on to anger towards my husband, I’m still connected to the feeling that I love him (in a friendly way), but I quickly lose the feeling of being “in love.” But when I’m diligent about restoring love to the relationship, I ongoingly feel that I’m “in love” with him.

My hunch is that my brain reflects that.

After four years, I still feel deeply and passionately in love with him, and I don’t think that’s going away.

This video is 23 mins long, but worth a look. It explains a lot about relationships, and the feelings we have about them.

Tags: Consciousness, Relationships, Transforming Sex //